One Last Time
by genevieveyoung
Summary: James decides to ask Lily out one final time on Valentine's Day


**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. All credit goes to the wonderful JKR**

* * *

 _ **"One last time**_

 _ **I need to be the one who takes you home**_

 _ **One more time**_

 _ **I promise after that I'll let you go"**_

 _ **\- One Last Time, Ariana Grande**_

* * *

James is not a fan of Valentine's Day. Probably because the holiday has never brought him anything, but trouble.

When he was in first year, he and Sirius slipped a potion into the Slytherins' morning pumpkin juice that turned the entire house's hair pink with little heart sparkles in honor of the holiday. They both spent the rest of the evening scrubbing cauldrons with Filch.

When he was in second year, James and Sirius paid Peter to dress up like Cupid and serenade McGonagall with Frankie Valli and The 4 Seasons' 'Can't Take My Eyes Off You' in the middle of the Great Hall. They even managed to convince Flitwick's choir to play the instrumental, and Professor Dumbledore lead the standing ovation. Once again, the boys ended up in detention, though Peter got off scot-free and a few galleons richer.

By third year, James had discovered Lily Evans. He found it hysterical when she got all huffy when James and Sirius picked on her friend, Snivellus. That year, James and Sirius charmed the pair so that they could only quote lines from love scenes from some muggle novel called _Romeo and Juliet_ that Sirius had discovered. This was the first year they didn't spend Valentine's Day in detention, since neither Lily nor Snivellus could tell McGonagall who had charmed them. James did end up in the Hospital Wing the next day, though, when Lily punched him and broke his nose.

In fourth year, James asked Lily out for the first time. She'd come back from summer holidays, and James had realized she was rather fit. He'd charmed a flock of doves to shower her with rose petals while he asked her, but when the birds ended up dropping something other than petals, Lily'd had to be dragged from the Great Hall by her friends screaming curse words at him. He'd taken that as a firm 'No'. He had then spent Valentine's Day with Sirius and Peter looking at books on animagus transformations.

In fifth year, Valentine's Day fell on a Hogsmeade weekend. James had asked Lily out during the Hufflepuff - Slytherin quidditch match. He'd set off fireworks that had exploded in the sky in the shape of a heart with 'Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Meet me in Hogsmeade, So I can Snog You!' in the middle. Lily had hexed him after the match so that when he opened his mouth to talk, only a piggish squeal came out. He'd ended up spending the holiday dying a slow death at Madame Puddifoots with the Ravenclaw seeker, Nan Fitzpatrick.

When Valentine's Day came around in sixth year, James had been dating Robyn Tyson for four months. While he'd still harbored distant feelings for Lily, he'd given up on ever getting her to actually date him. As a result, they had been able to get along and become semi-friends. Still, as a joke, James had asked Lily out on V-Day. She'd rolled her eyes at him, understanding he was kidding and politely declined, and James had thought that was that. Unfortunately, Robyn had not been amused, and had dumped a pitcher of pumpkin juice on his head at breakfast the morning of. Always the opportunist though, James had decided to make the best of his newly achieved bachelordom, and had spent the evening in an empty classroom with Cameron Weathers from Gryffindor.

Now a seventh year and a week away from the holiday, James still has no plans. He's been busy, what with Quidditch practices, Head duties, and Moony's furry little problem, leaving James with little time to really give the day much thought. But as he sits in the library with Lily, going over the rounds schedule for next month, he finds himself staring at the top of her head and thinking about asking her out.

Though James and Lily had become friends the previous year, they still weren't close or anything at the beginning of seventh year. But being Heads meant they spent a lot of time together: they lived together, did rounds together, and had to schedule all school events together. Plus, since Remus and Mary MacDonald started dating by the end of September, their friend groups often hang out together.

"-so, I was thinking, we should pair Remus up with Samantha Kingston from Ravenclaw, and Mary with Donald Kline from Hufflepuff, so this way we won't have to deal with a professor finding prefects snogging during rounds again," Lily is saying. She glances up to see if James is paying attention, and notices when he nods vaguely.

"Sure," he says, tapping his quill against the wooden table.

"What's up?" Lily sits up and looks at him, her brows furrowed concernedly. "You seem distracted."

James shakes his head. "I'm fine," he says, unable to look her in the eye. "Just tired."

Lily glances down at her watch, and sighs. "It is pretty late. I s'pose we can finalize this tomorrow. I've still got an Herbology essay to write anyways."

They gather their stuff and walk from the library together. They don't talk much, James caught up in his own mind, and Lily presumably caught up in hers. "Sooooo," Lily starts, fiddling with the strap on her bag. "Valentine's Day is next Tuesday."

James groans dramatically. "My least favorite holiday."

"Really?" He glances down to see Lily looking surprised. "I always thought it was your favorite."

"Why? Because of all the productions?" James grins lazily.

Lily's cheeks flush becomingly, and she shrugs. "Well, yeah."

James wrinkles his nose. "That was more me letting my arrogant side run wild, than showing an actual appreciation for the holiday. I think it's actually a rather bollocks day. It's just a giant, commercialized excuse for people in relationships to be even more obnoxious in public, and for blokes to look like complete arses if they don't do something spectacular for their birds. It's a trap, I tell you."

"Oh," James looks back at Lily when he hears how small her voice sounds suddenly. She pushes a strand of hair that's fallen loose from her messy bun behind an ear, and looks sheepishly at the floor. "I've always rather liked Valentine's Day," she says, gnawing on her lip. "I view it not as a day for just romantic love, but as a day to just spread love in general."

James feels like a complete idiot. He tries to find a way to mend his words. "I've never thought of it that way."

"Yeah. I always send my parents and Tuney chocolates and cards and such, and sometimes I even wear pink, just because, why not? It clashes terribly with my hair, but… I don't know. It does seem pretty childish now that I think about it." She self-consciously pulls her sleeves down over her palms, wrapping her arms around herself as if she's cold.

James wants to slap himself. He needs to fix this before they part ways, but they've already reached the Heads Apartment, and Lily gives the password to go in. "G'night, James," she mutters, disappearing into her room.

James groans loudly, and runs his hands over his face. _Fuck._ He turns on his heel and marches back out of the apartment. He uses the secret passages to reach Gryffindor Tower, gives the password to the Fat Lady, and makes his way up to the seventh year boys' dorm. He waltzes into the room and collapses onto Sirius's bed with another loud groan. "Hey Prongs. No, I'm not busy right now. Of course! Why don't you come pop-a-squat on my bed? I don't mind at all," Sirius says sarcastically, casually flipping the page of a Harley Davidson catalog.

James ignores his friend. "I am such an idiot, Padfoot!"

"This is not news mate," Sirius replies. "What'd you do to Evans now?"

"Who says it has anything to do with Lily?" James replies.

"Because it _always_ has to do with Lily," Peter rolls his eyes from where he sits on his bed, going over potions homework with Remus.

James frowns and doesn't reply for a minute. Remus prompts him, "So, what did you do?"

James scowls, but sits up and answers his friends' inquiries. "I told Lily how much I hate Valentine's Day," When the other boys just stare at him cluelessly, James sighs and continues. "Apparently, Lily loves the holiday, and it looks like I may have just ruined it for her."

They all nod in understanding, which just makes James scowl harder. It irritates him that they all just assume he'll be a prat to Lily. "What do I do?"

No one responds for a moment, and James collapses back on the mattress and stares up at the bed hangings. He thinks about the Lily he has discovered in the last two years: the way she blushes and twirls her hair around her finger when she's embarrassed, and how she gnaws on her lip when she feels uncomfortable; the way she loves to sing muggle rock ballads when she's brewing, and that her voice isn't half bad; the way she loves the rain and snow, and never misses an opportunity to dance in them; the way she refuses to give up on a person, even if they've given up on themselves. Her favorite color is royal blue, she loves lilies best, though she doesn't like to admit it because she doesn't want to be a cliché, and if she had it her way, breakfast would be served for all three meals of the day. She hates wearing a school uniform, loves muggle jeans, and uses quills to keep her hair up in a messy bun whenever she needs to think (James loves it when she does this because pieces always break free and frame her face so wonderfully). She's a total bitch in the morning, should probably get glasses because she has a hard time seeing the board from a distance, and isn't an inch over 5'2. She's Lily Evans, nothing like he thought she would be, and yet better than anything he could imagine.

James sits up, and grins slightly to himself. He's either completely insane or…. nope, definitely just insane. "I'm gonna ask her out."

Sirius groans, Peter sighs, and Remus purses his lips. "I don't know if that's the best idea, Prongs," Remus says, using the calm and rational tone he uses when he tries to talk Sirius out of doing something particularly mad.

"Nah, it'll be all good," James says, his mind settling on the idea. "One last time."

He stands up and starts pacing the room. "Lil and I are actually getting along now, and I won't be a prat like in the past. I'll just ask her, no big production or anything, and if she says no… well, it'll be awkward, I'm sure, but that's that, right? We'll graduate, and we most likely won't see each other ever again, and then I'll know for sure Lily was never meant to happen."

The boys are looking at James like he's lost it, and he thinks with his explanation, he probably has. "Prongs, I think an apology will work just fine in this situation," Remus tries again.

James ignores him, firm in his decision. "Just one last time," he tells them. "I'll ask Lily out one final time, and then I'm done. I won't bother her anymore, and I'll move on." He says this with more confidence then he feels. Though he's dated other girls in the past, Lily has always been there, like a ghost hovering just over his shoulder. And the more he's gotten to know her, the more his feelings for her have grown. James knows it won't be as easy as he makes it seem, but he'll also stay true to his word. If Lily says- _No. Don't get cocky_ \- _when_ Lily says no, he'll leave her alone and move on… or at least try to.

He walks out of the boys' dorm without another word. He barely sleeps that night, his mind full of dread at the idea of Lily turning him down for the final time, and him never seeing her again. Still, he gets up and goes through the motions the next morning, getting up extra early in the hopes of seeing Lily before classes start. He heads down to breakfast, but he's too jittery to really be able to eat. He manages to gulp down some coffee and nibble on some bacon and eggs, but not nearly as much as he normally eats. He waits all through breakfast, but Lily doesn't come down. Finally, it's time for potions, so James grabs his books and follows the other Marauders to the dungeon.

When he sets his books down on his desk, he scans the room, looking for the redhead. Once again, she's nowhere to be seen, though he spots Mary holding a piece of toast at the table next to them. Fifteen minutes into class, Lily finally makes an appearance. "Professor, I am so sorry!" she exclaims as she bursts through the door. Her hair is up in a messy bun, two quills barely keeping it in place, and her cardigan is falling off her shoulders. She's out of breath, and James realizes she's overslept.

Slughorn chuckles, dismissing his favorite student's tardiness, and goes back to explaining the properties of the potion they'll be working on today. Lily collapses into her seat at the table next to James's, smiling at Mary when the girl hands her the toast. James quickly rips off a piece of parchment, places a quick charm on it and scrawls:

 **Alright, Evans?**

She opens her notebook, and looks down at the page, taken aback for a moment. She glances up and makes eye contact with him, before writing her response:

 _Why didn't you wake me up!?_

 **You're usually up before I am**

 _Then you should've been suspicious that I wasn't at breakfast!_

 **Yikes, Evans. Missed your morning cup of coffee, I see**

 _Oh ha ha. You're just a riot_

 **That hurts, love. I'm hysterical and you know it**

 _Sure, sure_

 **By the way, you've missed a button**

 _Fuck! Why didn't you say something sooner?_

 **Enjoying the view**

 _Prat_

 **Anyways, you're distracting me. I had a reason for writing**

 _Then get on with it_

 **I want to talk to you**

 _That sounds ominous_

 **No need to panic, Evans. I'm not sick and dying, I know you're worried it's that**

 _Oh so concerned_

 **I'll be around for a long time, no need for tears**

 _I'll try to hold them back_

 **Anyways, when do you have free time?**

 _I have a study group during lunch, but I'm free after classes are done_

 **I've got practice until dinner**

 _Why so long?_

 **Uh, we do have a cup to win, Evans**

 _Okay, well I've got patrols after dinner_

Their conversation is cut short when Slughorn walks by to look over and praise Lily's work, and James doesn't get a chance to talk to her for the rest of the day: in between Potions and Transfiguration, Sirius gets slapped by some Ravenclaw bird he fooled around with, and James has to drag him away to cool down; McGonagall's too keen to even bother attempting to talk during Transfiguration; and James has Arithmancy when Lily has Herbology. James is about ready to rip his hair out when classes end and he has to go to practice, but he still hasn't been able to talk to Lily.

After a terrible practice (one of his Beaters broke the arm of one of his Chasers, and after that, all chaos ensued), James takes a quick shower and heads down for dinner. He spots Lily sitting with Mary and Remus, and starts walking over when Warren Ridge from Hufflepuff walks over to where they're sitting. He sits down next to Lily, giving her a big smile. She grins back, being her usual friendly self. James watches as the two banter back and forth for a bit, Remus and Mary looking amused at their flirtations. Then Warren says something that makes Lily's cheeks turn a flattering red, and James feels his stomach drop. He sees Mary and Remus exchange a look, Remus frowning at Warren, and James has an idea what has been said. He watches as Lily starts yanking on a loose piece of hair, twirling it around her finger, but James doesn't stick around for her response.

He wanders the castle aimlessly, in a terrible mood after what he saw. He knows he probably shouldn't be; did he not tell the boys he would ask Lily out one final time, and then move on with his life? Lily has just made the situation easier now, since she's made the decision for him. Clearly Warren asked Lily out and she said yes. So, she'll go out with Warren Ridge, and James will find some other female to fraternize with. Most likely. But maybe not. But probably! But definitely not, because there's no one like Lily, and who was James kidding? Lily's rejection was going to hurt anyways, but it hurts more that he didn't even get a chance to hear her response. Now he'll never know what she would've said.

He doesn't bother going back to the Heads apartment that night. He just strolls through the secret passages he discovered with the boys, his mind an endless loop of degrading insults and a replay of the scene in the Great Hall. Finally, sometime around early dawn, James returns to the apartment to shower and get ready for classes. He sighs heavily as he gives the password, and steps through the portal.

"Where have you been?"

James jumps at the loud exclamation. He glances up to see Lily standing in a lavender pajama shorts and top set, her long auburn hair a mess of knots, waves, and curls, her hands on her hips. She's staring at him with a furious look, but there's something akin to worry in her brilliant almond shaped green eyes.

"What?" James blurts. He can't really think straight, not when her pajama shorts reveal so much of her long legs.

"I've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for you to return! Where have you been all night?"

James steps further into the room, looking at Lily, who can't seem to decide what to do with her hands. She shifts them from her hips, to crossed over her chest, to twisting her fingers in front of her. "You were worried about me?" James asks, surprised.

"No," Lily replies instantly, but she looks away, unable to maintain eye contact.

James takes a few steps closer. "You were worried about me," he says, certain when he sees how her hands are shaking. He reaches out, takes one of her hands in his. They're so small and soft in his own hand, though her fingers are ice cold. He blows warm air on them, rubbing her palm between both of his. "Lil, there's no need to be worried. I'm fine."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that," Lily replies defensively. She stares at her hand engulfed in his, still unable to make eye contact.

"Now you do."

"Fat load of good that does me now!" Lily tries to yank her hand from his, but he holds tight.

"Why were you so worried?" James asks. He drops the hand he's currently holding, and picks up the other, repeating his warming motions.

"Because," Lily says stubbornly.

"That's not an answer."

Lily sighs, brushing hair back from her face with her free hand. "I don't know, James. I just was."

They're silent now, James staring down at Lily, Lily staring at her feet. He shifts his hand a little, and feels her pulse in her wrist. It's pounding, like she's nervous or excited. _Calm down, James. You don't know if that's true._ He decides to figure it out. "So," he tries to think about how to say this, without sounding like a jealous prat, even if that's what he is. "Remus and Mary were talking about Warren Ridge asking you out yesterday." He says this casually, as if it just came up in a random conversation.

Lily freezes, and looks up at him with a confused frown. "What?"

James feels uncertain now, but he proceeds anyways. "Um, yeah. They were talking about how yesterday at dinner, Warren came up to you and asked you out."

Lily gives him a strange look, her frown deepening. "That's not true," she says.

"It's not?" James hopes he doesn't sound too hopeful.

"No, especially since that would never happen. Warren likes blokes."

There's an awkward pause, and James wishes he could go bury his head in a bucket. "Oh." It's the only thing he can think to say.

He sneaks a peak at Lily, and she's watching him with understanding now. She bites her lips as she starts to grin. "And both Remus and Mary know this, so either they made that story up, or you did."

James lets go of Lily's hand to run his fingers through his hair. _Fuck. I'm such an idiot._ "Ummmmm," he feels his cheeks heat up. Lily giggles, and he looks down at her. She smiles hugely up at him, covering her mouth with her hand as she laughs harder. Despite himself, James finds himself starting to grin. "Well, what do you expect me to think? I see some bloke walk over to you during dinner, and you blush and get all flustered, and Remus frowns, so of course I think he's asking you out!"

Lily laughs harder, leaning forward and resting her forehead against his chest as she collapses in giggles. James wraps his arms around her, holding her steady even as he starts to laugh himself. She's got that kind of laugh that's contagious, and the two of them must look like loons, standing there in the early morning light, wrapped together and laughing. "No," Lily smacks his chest lightly, leaning back to look at him. "Warren wasn't asking me out. He was telling me about getting off with Jason Higgins, which was why I blushed and probably why Remus frowned." She falls against his chest again, giggling, and James buries his face in her hair.

He groans, "I feel like such an idiot."

"You _are_ an idiot," she says affectionately.

They've both calmed down now, and seem to realize they're wrapped around each other. James takes a deep breath, breathing in the scent of her rose body wash and jasmine shampoo. He slowly pulls back, looking down at Lily. She's so close, enough so that if she leaned up and he leaned down, their mouths would fit together perfectly. Her hands are pressed against his chest, and he wonders if she can feel his heart pounding against her palms. His hands rest low on her back, and her shirt has risen up ever so slightly so he can feel her warm skin against his fingertips. James takes a breath. _It's now or never._

"Lil," he starts, resisting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. "I've been wanting to ask you something."

Lily nods for him to go on, her green eyes big and inviting and even more beautiful up close. "Well, first, I want to apologize for being an arse the other day. I didn't mean to make you feel foolish about how you feel about Valentine's Day. I actually really like the way you view it, as a day to just spread love in general. It's such a positive way to look at a day that tends to cause most people a lot of annoyance and disappointment."

Lily shakes her head. "You don't have to apologize James. It's your view, it's how you feel. Like you said, for some people Valentine's Day is just a day of disappointment."

"But it doesn't have to be," he says quickly. He takes a deep breath. Fuck, he's never been so nervous. "Well, you see, we graduate this year, and we might never see each other again - not that I'm saying I want that! I definitely want to see you again after school, I consider you a good friend and all, Lil - but we _might_ not see each other again, and well, I might as well continue for tradition's sake, and-"

"James," Lily cuts in, laughing softly. "Spit it out."

"Right," James grins nervously, then takes the plunge. "Lil, will you go out with me?"

There's silence, and he hurries to continue. "It doesn't need to be a big deal or anything, and I'm not asking you to be my girl," _Much as I want to._ "We could do it on Valentine's Day, and it can just be us hanging out together. We can sneak out of the school, grab lunch at the Three Broomsticks, get some candy from Honeydukes…"

He waits for her to do something, to blink, to breathe, to respond. But Lily just stares at him like she's never seen anything like him before. He's holding his breath, cursing himself for being such an idiot. _Of course this was a terrible idea! Why did I do this?_ But he pauses his thoughts when he notices that Lily's eyes are sparkling, and a smile is starting to spread across her lips, slow and steady, but soft and beautiful and brilliant. She bites her lip, nodding first, and when she talks, she sounds breathless and excited. "Yes. Yes, I'd love to!"

James can't help himself. The girl he's been dreaming of for years has just agreed to go on a date with him, and she's smiling like he just gave her a million galleons, and he thinks he just might love her, and he bends down and kisses her. It's not anything crazy or even really how he's been dreaming of kissing her for years. In his head, he's always imagined pushing her up against a wall, and kissing her till she's weak in the knees. But this is just a peck, just him placing his lips on hers quickly in a moment of extreme excitement. Yet, the moment their lips touch, it's like something sparks within him, and he pulls back just as quickly as he descended.

They stare at each other wide-eyed. James drops his arms from around Lily, and she lifts a hand to run her fingers over her lips. "Fuck. Shit, Lil. I-I didn't mean to! I was just so excited and I- mmmph…"

James doesn't get a chance to finish talking, as Lily has just launched herself at him. She wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her body into his and moving her mouth urgently over his. It takes him a nanosecond to respond, and then he's wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her so tightly into him that he lifts her off the ground. He carries her over to the couch in front of the fireplace and lays her down on it, climbing over her. A part of him is screaming that he's moving too fast, but Lily sighs softly, and pulls him down over her, and his thoughts immediately shut off. He slows things down, moving his lips more purposefully over hers, taking time to draw out each kiss. She sighs again, and he takes the opportunity to deepen things, running his tongue over her lower lip. Their tongues mesh together for a while before James moves his mouth from hers and starts making his way down her neck. "James," she sighs as he latches onto her pulse point and bites down lightly. "James, we should probably stop," she says, though she tilts her head to give him more access.

"Mmm hmmm," he hums against her skin, having zero intention of detaching himself from her anytime soon. "We have class soon," he breathes before moving to her collarbone.

"And we're Head students," Lily sounds breathless and hoarse, and James feels smug. "It would be improper if we were late to class."

"Definitely," James replies right before moving his mouth back to hers.

In the end, they do separate, but only when they've got fifteen minutes till classes start. James leads Lily through the passages, and they make it to Charms just before the bell. James goes to sit at his table with Sirius and Remus, while Lily joins Mary and Alice Prewitt at hers. He sees Mary pointing to a love bite on Lily's neck, while Sirius asks James why he was so late for class. He quickly brushes off his friends, pretending to focus on Flitwick's lecture, but he glances over at Lily briefly and they share a smile.

Unfortunately, James doesn't see as much of Lily over the next few days as he would like. On Friday, Remus and Mary get into a huge fight about why Remus refuses to let Mary near him during certain times of the month (Mary doesn't know about Remus's furry little problem), and both James and Lily go to show support to their respective friends. On Saturday, James double books the pitch and has back to back practices. That night's also the full moon, so he's absolutely exhausted on Sunday. He sleeps till noon, then goes down to have lunch with Sirius, when the two get into a duel with Mulciber and Avery when they call Sirius a blood traitor. This, of course, ends in detention for both parties.

Still, James and Lily make the most of the little snippets of time they find together. At mealtimes, they sit next to each other, and hold hands under the table. In class, they pass notes, and James walks Lily to each of her classes, even the ones they don't have together. And they thoroughly enjoy both late night and early morning snog sessions.

Though they haven't told anyone about… whatever it is they're doing, their friends have sensed the change between the two of them, and take every opportunity to tease the pair. Lily's friends always talk about how swollen her lips are, or if she wears her hair down, they accuse her of hiding hickeys. James's friends comment about how he's always late to everything, and how his tie is always crooked, his shirt buttoned unevenly. They both ignore the teasing with rolls of their eyes, and continue what they're doing.

When Monday rolls around, James starts to feel a nervous excitement. He spends a majority of his classes planning out everything they'll do in Hogsmeade. He'll take her to Scrivenshafts, since he knows how much Lily loves her quills, then they'll head to Zonko's, where he can stock up on prank Valentines to send to Sirius from his former girlfriends, and then he'll treat her to lunch and a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. They'll finish off the day at Honeyduke's, where they can stock up on candy for themselves and their friends, and sneak back into the castle using the passageway under the store's cellar. Then, James thinks wickedly, he intends to make sure he and Lily get the rest of the night alone in the apartment.

What James doesn't count on is Lily being so distant. When he wakes up Monday morning - extra early in the hopes of spending a few minutes with Lily before breakfast - she brushes him off when he tries to kiss her. James decides to ignore this, since he knows Lily's a prickly person in the morning. He notices she seems distracted during classes, her eyes glazed and tired looking. She doesn't sit next to him at lunch, instead sitting with Mary and Alice a little bit away, but James is preoccupied trying to mediate an argument between Peter and Sirius - Peter claims Sirius ate the last of Peter's chocolate frog batch, while Sirius resolutely denies such an accusation. To be honest, James thinks he notices Remus looking a bit ashamed as he hides behind his Defense book - to really worry over where she's seated. Practice after classes takes James's attention away from how Lily's acting, but he notices again at dinner that she refrains from sitting near him.

After rounds, James returns to the Head Apartment, and finds Lily cuddled up on their couch. She's wrapped herself in a thick wool blanket, though she's positioned herself right in front of the fire's flames, and is reading some muggle novel called _Valley of the Dolls_. He grins as he watches her wrap herself further in the blanket. She sniffs and turns a page. He walks over to the couch and plops down next to her. "Hey," he says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Lily looks up at him, frowns slightly, and shifts out from under his arm. "Hi," she replies softly.

James frowns at this action, but he tries not to think too far into it. Perhaps she just really wants to read her book, and he's distracting her. "So, I have everything for tomorrow planned out," he announces proudly. Lily nods, giving him a weak smile. He notes that her eyes still look glassy, but he imagines she's just tired from the long day. "We can meet after classes. I cancelled practice for tomorrow; we'll have a double session this weekend to make up for it, but that's no matter. Why don't we say we'll meet by the library, and go from there?"

Lily nods vaguely, sniffs again. "Sure," she replies simply. She yawns hugely, shivering slightly as she does.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" James suggests, standing up and holding out his hand to her. She takes it and lets him help her stand, but pulls her hand away the minute she's on her feet. She pulls the blanket tighter around herself.

"Goodnight, James," she says softly, moving to walk around him.

He stops her, grinning roguishly. He wraps his arms around her, and pulls her close, though he notices she leans slightly away. "No goodnight kiss?" he teases. She bites her lip and looks away. James starts getting a sinking feeling in his stomach, but he decisively ignores it. He bends toward her, but one look in her panicked eyes, and he doesn't bother trying for her mouth. He kisses the top of her head, letting his lips linger. She's tense for a short moment, but melts into him, snuggling her face into his chest, and James feels the sinking feeling go away. _She's just tired._ He kisses her one more time, and buries his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. He pulls away, putting a hand on her cheek, brushing his thumb over the soft, smooth skin of her cheekbone, and he smiles down at her. "Sweet dreams, Lil."

She leans into his hand, smiling softly up at him, before disentangling herself from his hold and disappearing into her room.

The next day, James can barely contain himself, he's so excited. He's jittery, and can't sit still, to the point that McGonagall threatens to cast an Immobolus charm on him if he doesn't stop moving. By his last class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Sirius has had enough. "Calm the fuck down, Prongs. You look like you're gonna piss yourself."

James scowls, but tries to do what Sirius asks. It doesn't work out well, and he ends up telling Sirius about his and Lily's date. Sirius doesn't say much about it, busy concentrating on silently casting a shield charm. "You're being ridiculous, Prongs," he says, grunting when James's stinging hex breaks through his shield. "It's just Lily. You guys have spent a lot of time together. You live together now, and you've obviously been snogging for the past week," James's shameless grin matches Sirius's. "You don't need to get so worked up. Just do whatever you planned to do, and it'll all work out fine, and I'll end up being your best man at the wedding."

James half-heartedly sends a disarming charm Sirius's way. "What if she doesn't like me that way?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius stares at James speculatively.

"What if Lily doesn't like me as a potential boyfriend? What if she just likes me as a friend?"

"Prongs," Sirius turns his eyes to the ceiling, like he's asking the gods for help with such an imbecile. "Lily wouldn't be snogging you if she just wanted to be your friend."

"True… but what if she doesn't like how I act on the date? Like, maybe she just kissed me back to see what it was like, and realized I'm a great snog-" Sirius snorts at this, but James ignores him. "-but then, when it's just the two of us in an actual romantic situation, she decides, 'Nah, better not.'?"

Sirius sighs heavily, and steps closer to James, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're overthinking this way too much, Prongs. It's _Lily_. She's already seen your bad side. She knows your flaws, and that hasn't scared her away so far. Just act like you would normally… just maybe with some more manners." Sirius grins reassuringly, and James feels better.

"Who'd've thought, Sirius Black, playboy extraordinaire, would also be a relationship guru?" James teases. This earns him a stinging hex when his back is turned.

Finally, class ends. James rushes back to the Heads Apartment, and quickly changes out of his uniform. He grabs his cloak and some money, tucks the Map in his back pocket, just in case, and walks down to the library. He's a mess of nerves and he can't do anything but pace as he waits for Lily. He glances at his watch. He figures Lily probably wants to change as well, so he waits ten minutes.

Ten minutes pass. _Probably talking to a friend._

Fifteen minutes pass. _She must've gotten caught up with a professor._

Thirty minutes pass. _Maybe class ran long, and she got caught up with a professor._

Forty-five minutes pass. _Maybe she decided to shower and change, and class was let out late._

By the time an hour passes, James decides to go find her. He pulls the Map out of his back pocket. "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," he whispers, making sure no one is around before looking down. He scans the Heads Apartment and Gryffindor Tower for Lily's name, but doesn't spot it anywhere. He glances at the dungeons as well, knowing she sometimes helps Slughorn gather ingredients for class. Not there either. He does spot two names much closer to where he is. Remus Lupin and Mary MacDonald. "Mischief managed," he mutters, and sets off.

He finds the pair tucked away into an alcove practically sucking the other's face off. He clears his throat, trying to get their attention, but they're so caught up in the moment, they don't hear him. James shifts uncomfortably, and tries again. "Mary," he says. She makes a noise, and pulls slightly away from Remus.

Remus looks over his shoulder at James and glares. "Go away, Prongs."

James ignores the werewolf. "Mary, do you know where Lily is?"

Mary makes a sound, but Remus's mouth prevents James from understanding her. Realizing he'll get no help from the couple, he walks off.

At this point, James knows he's been stood up. He can't begin to describe the pain he feels, like his heart has been ripped in half, and stabbed with a thousand needles, and those needles have been injected with poison. He slips on his Invisibility cloak and slinks away from the library. He has no idea what to do with himself, so he just lets his legs carry him wherever they want to go. He ends up in Gryffindor Tower. He spots Sirius sitting in an armchair by a window, and walks over to him.

"Prongs?" Sirius looks up, confused. "Aren't you supposed to be on your date?"

"She never showed up," James says, his voice distant sounding even to his own ears.

Sirius's eyes bug a little, and he sits up straighter. "What?"

"I waited for her for an hour. She never showed up. I even checked the Map, and couldn't find her on it. I tried asking Mary, but… she and Moony were busy," James feels like he's in a dream, or rather, a nightmare.

"Gimme that," Sirius snatches the Map from James and opens it, muttering the incantation. He scans it and blanches. "Ummm, Prongs… I found Lily."

James jumps out of his daze. "What? Where?" He tries not to shout, but considering the strange looks he gets, guesses he doesn't manage so well.

Sirius holds out the Map for James's perusal and he sees the name Lily Evans floating above the Heads Apartment. He's out of the Gryffindor common room fast as lightning, and makes it to the Heads Apartment in record time. Lily isn't in the common room, so James storms over to her door and starts pounding on it. "Lily? Lily! I know you're in there!" There's no response. "Lily, open the door!" Still nothing. He's tempted to try the door himself, but he remembers McGonagall mentioning that there was a similar charm on the doorknob as was on the girls' staircase in Gryffindor Tower, meaning only females could enter Lily's room. "Lily!" He pounds again, but she still doesn't answer.

He fights the urge to hex down her door or curse her out. He knows it won't do him any good in the end. James collapses against the door, leaning his forehead on the cool wood. He can't even hear her moving in the room beyond. He pounds his fist a final time against the door, then spins on his heel and leaves the apartment. He sprints down to the pitch, grabs his broom, and practices dives, dodges, and dips for the rest of the night. He goes until his muscles ache and he's covered in sweat. He takes a quick shower in the locker room, and ends up passing out on one of the benches next to his locker. When he wakes up on Wednesday, he feels awful. His back and neck are sore from sleeping on the bench, his muscles are locked tight from the drills, and his heart and head ache from Lily's rejection. He somehow manages to make it into the Great Hall for breakfast. He spots Sirius, Remus, and Peter immediately. Sirius must've filled the other two in on what happened, because they all watch him with hesitant eyes. They don't say anything as he sits down, but James is grateful they're here anyways. He glances down the table and notices that Lily and her friends are nowhere to be found. He glances at Remus, who examines James over the top of the Daily Prophet, but doesn't find anything in his expression.

Classes pass in a blur. James doesn't both even pretending to take notes. He's bitter and crabby, and Sirius has to put a silencing charm on James to keep him from snapping at Professor Vector in Arithmancy. At Quidditch practice, his team performs flawlessly, and James suspects one of the Marauders warned his teammates that James was on the warpath. James doesn't see Lily for the rest of the day.

The next three days pass in the same pattern, till finally, James can't take it anymore. He's in the library when he spots Mary and Alice sitting at a table in the corner talking in hushed tones. James doesn't think about what he's about to do and storms up to them. "Where is she?" he demands, his voice low and rough.

Mary ignores him, eyes focused on the issue of _Witch Weekly_ she has open in front of her, but Alice raises her chin defiantly. "You could use some manners, Potter. We're not slaves for you to boss around."

James snorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "Manners, sure. Where were Lily's manners on Tuesday when she stood me up?"

Mary looks up at him so suddenly James wonders if she gets whiplash. Alice's eyes are wide. "What?" she gasps.

James rolls his eyes, irritated. "Lily and I were supposed to go out on Valentine's Day. I waited an hour for her outside the library but she never showed up. And she's been ignoring me for the past three days!" He fists a hand in his hair, yanking at the strands so the pain in his skull matches the one in his chest.

Alice turns to Mary with a furious expression. Mary, for her part, looks mortified. "Mary! What the fuck did you do?" Alice demands. James is taken aback, and he stares at the two girls curiously.

"Oh no," Mary's voice is small as she places a hand over her mouth in horror. She looks up at James with wide, terrified eyes. "James, I am so sorry."

James looks back and forth between the two girls, feeling immensely confused. "What are you talking about?"

Alice turns back to James and smiles sympathetically. She spreads her hands in a calm, rational way, and talks in a tone like she's trying to calm down a cornered animal. "Lily's sick. She wasn't feeling well all day Monday, and she woke up on Tuesday, feeling awful, so she skipped classes. She threw up all over her bed later that afternoon. She managed to get herself to the Hospital Wing, and Madame Pomfrey let us know. Mary," Alice turns and glares at the other girl, who has turned bright red and is trying to hide behind the magazine. "was supposed to find you and let you know what had happened, but obviously, you didn't get the message."

"She's sick?" James hears himself ask. All he can hear in his head is a voice shouting, _SHE DIDN'T STAND YOU UP!_

Alice grins at James's wide-eyed amazement and relief. "Yes. She wouldn't do that to you, James."

James smiles at Alice. "She still there?" Alice nods. "Thanks Al," James says as he turns to go. He catches sight of Mary, who looks super guilty, and he sighs. "It's fine, Mary. Misunderstanding."

As he leaves the library, James hears Alice say, "We're going to have to have that talk _again_ , aren't we?"

James practically sprints up to the Hospital Wing. He can't describe the level of relief he feels. Lily doesn't hate him, she didn't turn him down, she was just sick! He's definitely glad he decided not to throw a tantrum on Tuesday. He pauses outside the door to the wing to catch his breath, then pushes his way in.

It's relatively empty, with only a few beds filled. James spots a bed in the far corner of the wing, next to a window, with curtains drawn around it. James starts to make his way over to that one, when the nurse, Madame Pomfrey, steps in his way. "Just where do you think you're going, mister?"

"Madame Pomfrey, I've got to see Lily," James says. He's got to be at least a good head taller than the middle aged nurse, but she's always intimidated him. Maybe it's the way she's always healed his Quidditch injuries like he's some soldier she met on the battlefield: quick, efficient, and emotionless.

The nurse considers him, and he's certain she's going to toss him out, but he must look as desperate as he feels because her gaze softens and she nods. "She's asleep now, but I'll give you fifteen minutes. Then, you have to leave," She holds out hand, stopping him for a moment. "Drink this. She's contagious." She holds out a potion for him, and James tosses it back.

James nods gratefully, and steps slowly to the curtain. He pulls it aside, and sees Lily lying in a bed. She's got the sheet pulled up to her chin, and she shivers as she sleeps. He hears a slight rattle when she exhales, and her skin is paler than normal. She has dark circles under her eyes, and her long, beautiful hair is pulled back in a messy braid. Still, James think she's gorgeous, perhaps even more so now.

James drags a chair over and sits down, then leans over Lily's body. He places a hand against her cheek, and caresses the soft skin there. "Lily," he says softly, leaning closer. "Lily, wake up."

Lily moans a little, and rolls over onto her side. One of her hands comes up to cover his, and it's freezing again, though her face feels like it's burning. "Lily," he says again, and he watches her eyes flutter.

She opens them, the usual brilliant green slightly dulled. He notices they still look glassy and he realizes now that the glazed look is because she's sick, not just tired. "James?" she rasps, her voice hoarse sounding. She leans away from him, coughing into her arm, and turns back. "What are you doing here?"

James smiles at her. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

She frowns, pulling her hand away from his. "You haven't stopped by the past three days," she retorts, still managing to sound indignant even with such a weak voice.

James chuckles and brushes his hand through her hair. He leans forward and kisses her forehead before he responds. "That's because I didn't know you were sick."

Lily's brows furrow, so James explains. He picks up her hand, and just like the night he asked her out, he blows warm air onto her fingers before rubbing them between his palms. "I thought you stood me up on Tuesday. I waited for you for an hour, but you never showed, and then I found out you were in your room. Alice told me your dragged yourself to the Hospital Wing, so we must've missed each other because I was banging on your door for a while, and when I didn't get a response, I thought the worst. "

Lily looks horrified. "No, James! I would never-"

James shakes his head, trying to reassure her. "I know. I thought you were avoiding me for the past few days, but when I confronted Alice and Mary about it in the library just before, they told me what happened."

Lily looks a little angry now. She coughs into her arm again before responding. "I told Mary to tell you I was sick. Thank you," she takes the glass of water he hands her and takes a sip.

James picks up her other hand and starts warming it. "Yeah. Mary was… a bit distracted and forgot to tell me," Lily still looks put out. "It's fine. I just wish I'd known sooner so I could've come visit you. I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you or something."

Lily sighs, shaking her head. "It's all just one big misunderstanding," she looks at James and her eyes get watery. "I'm so sorry you thought I stood you up. I would never do that to you, James. You have no idea how excited I was for our date."

James grins. "I think I have some idea."

She smiles back at him, then seems to realize something. She pulls her hand back and yanks her sheets up over her mouth. "Wait! What are you doing here? I'm contagious; you'll get sick!"

James just chuckles, picking up her hand again and drawing lines on her palm. "I'm not worried," he says nonchalantly. "Madame Pomfrey gave me some sort of potion. What do you have, anyways?"

Lily rolls her eyes. "The flu," at James's confused look she continues. "It's a muggle disease. Remember on Sunday, how it was raining cats and dogs?" James nods. "Well, I was helping Slughorn collect supplies, and we needed gillyweed, so I went outside, but I didn't have a thick enough coat on."

"Are you really sick?" James asks, concerned.

"I'm okay. Problem is, since it's typically a muggle disease, Madame Pomfrey doesn't have any potions for it, so we have to get muggle antibiotics. That's a kind of medicine, but it's taking a bit to get here."

James nods. He hates seeing Lily ill and has the urge to do anything he can to help. "Do you need anything? Want me to bring stuff from the apartment?"

Lily shakes her head, and smiles sweetly up at him. "I'm just glad you're here."

James smiles back, pausing when she shivers violently. "Here," he stands up and pulls his jumper over his head. He hands it to her, yanking down the hem of his undershirt.

"Oh, James, you don't need to," she says, lightly pushing his hand away.

James ignores her, wrapping an arm around her back and helping her sit up. He pulls the jumper over her head and she sticks her arms through the sleeves. The article is massive on her, but James feels a sort of pride in seeing Lily wear something of his. She shivers again, snuggling into the sweater. He swears he sees her sniff the collar and smile. "It's something a bloke does for his girlfriend," he says simply, sitting back down in his chair.

"Girlfriend?" Lily asks. James freezes, just now realizing his words, but Lily doesn't look upset. "You think I'm your girlfriend?"

"Well," James's hand ruffles his hair. "I mean… you can be…. if you want to be."

Lily seems to chew on his words, playing with the extra long sleeves that cover her hands. She looks up at him and the smile she gives him is like sunshine. "Yes."

James feels the urge to kiss her, but he doesn't bother trying. He can't just sit there, though. He stands up and sits down on Lily's bed instead. He nudges her over and leans back against the headboard. He pulls her into him, wrapping one arm around her back. She nuzzles into his chest, one hand seeking out his, and the pair resting next to her head. He bends down and kisses her hair. "Good," he says.

They lay like that, Lily occasionally moving away to cough into her arm, and just listen to one another breathe. "I'm sorry I ruined Valentine's Day for you. Guess you're right that it always ends in disappointment," Lily says, squeezing him tighter.

James plays with the end of her braid, kissing the back of her hand. "No. It was the best Valentine's Day yet."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Hey guys! I hope you all enjoyed. Just wanted to make a special little treat for Valentine's Day! Hope you guys have a great day filled with love and chocolate!**

 **Also, just felt the need to point out that, yes, the dives, dips, and dodges James does in his anger were inspired by _Dodgeball's_ Five Rules of Dodgeball: 1. Dodge, 2. Dip, 3. Dive, 4. Duck, and 5. Dodge**

 **xoxo Evie**


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